When we get back with abusive men, and let me talk about trauma bonding for a moment first, trauma bonding simply means that if two people have shared a highly emotional experience together, it gives them a unique bond and perhaps even a false sense of a depth of bond and a false sense of shared history. The more intense the experiences the more deeply it could be said to burn into a person’s unconscious, so if you compare a pleasant evening out between a nice couple, where they go and they have a nice meal, and then they go to the cinema and then they come back, and they have quiet but nice sex for 15-20 minutes and go to sleep in each other’s arms. That’s all very nice and it’s very lovely.
Whereas if you compare that to going out, getting drunk and seeing your girlfriend dancing with another man. The young couple, they’re together, the guy sees the girl dancing with another man and because he’s a nutcase, he flips out st
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